Friday, August 21, 2009

Vacation, all I ever wanted?

I’m on a mini-vakay at a gorgeous South Florida resort. They have 23 pools, I can hear and see the waves breaking gently on the beach, the balmy air kisses my skin.

I’m seriously freaking out.

I have a book manuscript due, not to mention all sorts of other deadlines and responsibilities that are sticking to me like sand on wet skin. This isn’t a new problem. I’ve always had a hard time relaxing and over the years, working for myself, it’s hard for me to even take weekends off. There’s always something that I think demands attention. There’s always something (or to be honest, a litany of items) that works to keep me from falling asleep.

Does this sound familiar?

While I hope not, I suspect some of it rings true for you. It’s hard to turn off the worry and the responsibility and let yourself relax. Here at this wondrous place, I don’t feel I deserve what the resort and the time off has to offer. I don’t deserve peace of mind.

I haven’t worked hard enough. I didn’t get enough things off my plate before I came. I can’t just turn off a chaotic life that I created. Or can I?

I often go around thinking that there’s a magic wand that I can just wave around and suddenly, I’ll be in a Florida state of mind. It doesn’t work that way. In fact, I have to consciously work and make choices to give myself this break.

And I also have to cut myself a break. I’m committed to social media and for me, that means tweeting around scheduled events, sharing photos of the amazing things I’m experiencing in real time, and turning my iPhone to vibrate, not off.

I’m making choices that will help me to be present in paradise while still staying linked in.

Maybe my next trip will be to a destination sans a signal (I’ve already got an invite to a remote cabin in Maine next year) but for now, vacation isn’t quite like the Go-Gos said.

Vacation, all I ever wanted. Yes.
Vacation, had to get away. Okay. I’ll buy that.
Vacation, meant to be spent alone. Nope, not without my tweeple.

(I'm staying at the Amelia Island Plantation. Book a trip now.)


mduette said...

What's a va-cat-ion?
Nah, I won't be one of those people. You work hard, so you deserve to play...hard. Hmm. I mean relax hard. Hardly relax? Dang. It sounded so much better in my head. (most things do, if I'm honest.)

Just...hurry up and enjoy yourself. Or something. ;)

Chris said...

I'm such a dork, I thought Amelia was in Washington. Oh, brother.

Haven't had much online time, but had to check out your doin's.

A sampling of my books