The party's off, but the celebrating is on

I love a good party and I love to be the center of attention, so you’d think that I’d eat up hosting a big shindig.

Yes and no.

I love creating a great environment for friends to mingle. I love multi-tasking. But between answering the door, introducing guests to each other, and mixing tasty drinks, I sort of forego any meaningful or lengthy conversations.

So instead of throwing a kick-ass open house for the holidays, I decided to kick it with smaller groups of friends. I’m having micro-parties, gatherings of a few pals at a time. And because times are tough, I’m making them a potluck of sorts: I supply the main dish and happily accept apps, snacks, desserts, and drinks. The important thing is not the food (although my spicy lasagna is something to write home about), it’s the friends. And by taking the focus off being an impeccable hostest (that’s the hostess with the mostest combined), I don’t have to: clean the entire house from top to bottom, decorate like I’m Buddy the Elf, shell out hundreds of dollars for booze and artfully arranged cheese plates, send and monitor the evite, and create playlists from my current favorite music (is it just me, or is Bruno Mars dreamy?). By changing up my holiday experience, I’m buying back hours of my time, time that could best be spent in the company of others.

How are you downsizing the holidays? I'd love to hear.

Downsizing the holidays...in a good way

How did it get to be December 3? And why am I always surprised to find myself behind the tinsel-covered 8-ball when the holidays are nigh?

Last year was hard. I didn’t have a lot of funds for gifts (let alone shipping), and I stayed put in Seattle rather than visiting family in Michigan (or other exotic locales like North Platte, Nebraska and Dahlonega, Georgia). While it’s been a year of personal and professional growth, not much has changed when it comes to Christmas. I’m still financially strapped and I’m not getting patted down by a TSA agent anytime soon.

But I’m not throwing in the towel on the holidays. I still plan on connecting with friends and family in meaningful ways and will be offering up some suggestions all month for you to do the same.

Pulling out a few questions from Beyond the Family Tree is a smart way to change the conversation and the dynamic when you’re tempted to start the snarky monologue in your head or withdraw from the conversation in favor of a Bravo marathon. Try asking older relatives how they celebrated the holidays when they were kids or what their favorite gift was. And ask about high school crushes or how they became a crazy train fanatic (or maybe that’s just my dad). Capture all the goodness on a Flip camera or your iPhone 4 for posterity (and for next year's holiday video, another perfect gift).

Simple Gifts, the other book I published in 2010, features all sorts of gifts you can make on the cheap and on the run. It makes a great gift in itself if you’ve got crafty folks on your list, but before you gift it, crack it open and make a batch of salted caramels, felted wine sleeves, candles, or magnets.

To help you out and prove just how easy these projects are, I’m planning on posting a video tutorial of a craft this month: which would you prefer to see—candles (one of which is featured on the book’s cover) or magnets?

What traditions have you incorporated into your holidays?

Next up: Micro-partying!

The work/play tug-o-war

It seems as if I’ve had vacation on the brain these days. If I can’t take a full-on break, I can at least dream about one. And this rainy Labor Day weekend, I’ve been trying to find my spots of blue sky where I can find them.

Sometimes they only exist in my mind.

On the surface, I had a great weekend set up. My childhood friend Ann, who I reconnected with last year, scooped me up and whisked me away to see Dave Matthews Band at the Gorge, a spectacular outdoor venue in Eastern Washington. We spent the night in Moses Lake, hit the breakfast buffet in the lobby, and hightailed it back over the mountains.

DMB was fantastic; the time spent with Annie was even better.

I continued the tour through my past when I got back to Seattle. My high school pal Kevin flew in from Chicago for Bumbershoot, a three-day music and arts extravaganza. The festival would be overwhelming even if I didn’t have a lot of deadlines. But I do. So I’ve been doing my best to find balance, the middle of the road between work and play, the desire to be a good hostess with the need to be an effective small business owner.

The results are mixed. In trying to do both, I’m doing neither very well. But what I am doing is the best I can. I sent Kevin off in the rain to see the Black-Eyed Peas this afternoon; I’ll join him in a couple of hours to check out some acts this evening. The holiday is almost over and I’m going to be as present as possible in whatever activity I’m engaged in, be it writing, editing, or rocking out. At least I'm going to try.

Do you ever experience work guilt when you play on the weekend or holidays?

A few photos from my birthday

I had a magical birthday weekend, kicking off with a small cookout at the CoSos. Rob, Kerry, Piper, and Molly—my Seattle family—opened up their backyard for some great play (including bocce ball), conversation, and all-around fun. Strange songs were sung in lieu of the "Happy Birthday" song, baked beans and bratwurst were shoved in the piehole, and there were cupcakes.

Yesterday, my actual birthday, I went with a couple of dear friends to Whidbey Island for the day. We followed my usual route: Greenbank for pie, Coupeville for salmon & chips at Toby's Tavern, beach glass hunting (check out the two bags of glass booty!), just over Deception Pass for espresso shakes at the Shrimp Shack (love the photo of Michaela and Jessica; they look like they are up to no good)... We added in a stop at the Tulalip Casino (truly, the number-one place for fun), which blew Michaela's mind. She kept looking up at the ceiling like she had just gone down the rabbit hole. Sadly, I was not the Queen of Hearts but I was queen for a day. The best part about the entire celebration was the insightful, funny conversations I had with my friends. I am so blessed to have such an amazing urban tribe; that really is the best gift and I get it on a daily basis.

"Dope" Valentine's Day gift

I have a deep aversion to Valentine's Day. I go out of my way to ignore both V Day and New Year's Eve. Like many of my past boyfriends, they consistently disappoint.

Anyway, I was scrolling through various tweets today on twitter and found a link to Team EcoEtsy, a group of eco-friendly crafters on etsy. I was skimming over the creations page and was intrigued by the "Geekery" category. I clicked through and found this great store. Created by a scientist-turned-artist, Molecular Muse creates jewelry in the shape of different molecules, including caffeine, seratonin, and estrogen.

I was drawn to the dopamine earrings. I could use some pleasure in my life, or at least a reminder to seek it out. I ordered the sterling version in short order. Happy Valentine's Day to me.

Alternative gifting

This year, time and money are in short supply so a couple of friends and I got together on Sunday to make a boatload of Christmas cookies for gifting. Laurel brought boxes and tissue, not to mention the dough for sugar cookies and thumbprint cookies. I brought my cowboy cookie dough. And Kerry and Piper had a grand time helping us embellish the cookies with all sorts of frostings and sprinkles.

We made about 12 or 15 boxes but the real gift was the fun afternoon spent together in a warm and fragrant kitchen with great friends. I highly recommend it.

Restyling the regift

This week I've been thinking about regifting. Shocking, I know, especially from such a lovely gal such as myself. But you know, I'd rather give some wretched gift a new life in a loving home. And sometimes, this can't be done in its current form. So my latest post on CraftStylish gives you a few ideas on how to restyle that Cosby sweater or completely transform that stuffed penguin someone thought was a good idea. Enjoy!

Rethinking the holidays: give the gift of yourself

The holidays are kicking me from one end of the street to the other. I'm not gonna lie. I'd like to say I'm making everything by hand and each precious gift will be exquisitely wrapped and shipped out by, well, now, but that's simply not the case.

Life, or in this case, my book deadline, gets in the way.

So my girlfriends and I decided to forego actual gifts to each other this year. Instead, we headed to Olympus Spa in Lynnwood for a relaxing evening of naked girl talk in hot tubs and crazy heated rooms with different properties: i.e., "Mud & Jade Room," "Charcoal Room," and "Salt Room." It was exactly what we needed to recharge and attack our work and the holidays. On the way home, we swung by Molly Moon's Homemade Ice Cream for some organic ice cream (candy cane ice cream for me, birthday cake with caramel sauce for the others).

In lieu of gifts, consider a shared experience this holiday season with loved ones, be it a dinner party, a weekend matinee, or naked hot tubbing. It's good for the soul and it's a gift that you'll be giving yourself. What's a better gift than quality time spent with your favorite people?

Gifts for guys: a tutorial

Buying or making gifts for guys has always been a challenge. I have bought my brothers books, my dad a running watch or train memorabilia. One year, everyone received hand-knitted scarves; another Christmas, I gave pajama bottoms to the dudes (Old Navy loved me that year). But while women seem like a breeze to make something for, guys present a dilemma. They have everything already or it's questionable that they'll like what you create.

CraftStylish has loads of great ideas; this week, the site is running a gift guide of tutorials for all the boys to men in your life. I kick things off today with a tutorial on "shoe submarines," small inserts that he can slip into his stinky shoes to absorb moisture and odor. It's a great stocking stuffer for the gym rat or running enthusiast.

Come to think of it, it's just the thing for my running fool of a father...

The Prairie Girl's Guide to Christmas

In light of the current economic situation, I thought this article was worth revisiting. It originally appeared in the Nov/Dec 07 issue of Adorn (may it rest in peace).

The Prairie Girl's Guide to Christmas
Two years ago, I quit Christmas. In the middle of stuffing my annual letter into a fancy-pants letterpressed holiday card, I quit. I backed away from the stack of cards and pulled out my knitting instead.

Eighty of my closest friends and colleagues didn’t hear from me that year, but oh my goodness, did my pal love the lacy shawl I knitted for her.

I didn’t throw in the holiday towel altogether. I just stopped trolling for parking at the mall, dealing with crowds hopped up on eggnog lattes, running to three parties in one night, turning my house into a 1,000 points of light, and buying designer gifts en masse.

Instead of these soul-sapping activities, I created new traditions. I created personal and personalized gifts. In other words, I went all Laura Ingalls Wilder on the holidays.

In doing this, I got my Christmas spirit back.

In re-reading Little House books while researching my own book on prairie crafts and skills, I could feel how precious one handmade gift and stick of Christmas candy could mean to a child when presented with love and thoughtfulness. I can relate. When someone presents me with a gift so perfectly chosen or made for me, I get weepy. I also well up when giving someone a personalized present. I love wrapping the gift as well, artfully providing some clue to the gift within.

And just between you and me, I can’t afford to keep up with copious and label-laden gifts. So I go for quality and thoughtfulness over quantity and price. A thick lotion, packaged in a sweet tin and infused with a friend’s favorite scent, goes over just as well as a spendy department store jar of cream. Bringing a homemade rhubarb pie to a holiday party rather than the ubiquitous bottle of champagne or wine sends any hostess over the moon. It also sends her to the pantry, where she hides the pie behind the canned goods, hording it for herself.

When it comes to holiday cards, I customize a few, and use the time I’ve saved on the dozens of other cards crafting sparkly jewelry for my nieces or making popcorn balls with my pals. Instead of garish lights that frankly give me a migraine, I drape cranberry and popcorn garlands on the boughs of my tree and use my great-grandmother’s quilt as a tree skirt.

Below are a just a few gift ideas that are inexpensive and easy to create and customize, no matter how fickle or fashionable your friends or family. And another thought: host a small holiday party with your pals, serve up some eggnog, and set up a prairie girl workshop for them to make their own lotions and potions. Supply essential oils so they can infuse their creation with whatever they need to get through the holidays, such as lavender if they need to relax or peppermint if they need an energy boost. Sadly, there’s no oil that I know of that will help with family dynamics.

Lavender Linen Waters
You don’t have to knit a shawl or spend all year making a quilt. There are many unique and thoughtful gifts you can whip up in a jif. For instance, make linen waters for friends who love to press their clothes and curtains, and infuse it with their favorite scent (lavender is a lovely choice).

2 teaspoons lavender essential oil (or essential oil of your choice)
5 tablespoons 100-proof vodka
1 cup distilled water

Sterilize a spray bottle (preferably glass) by washing it and then dipping it in a hot water bath and letting it dry completely. Combine the essential oil and vodka in the bottle, and shake vigorously. Add the distilled water. Shake gently before using. To use, mist on clothing and linens before ironing.

Makes approximately 1 1/2 cups

Furniture Polish
For the homebody, mix a homemade furniture polish. Packaged in a genteel glass bottle, your loved one will appreciate this almost as much as the coffee table she asked Santa for.

1/2 cup olive oil
1/4 cup lemon juice

Sterilize a spray bottle (preferably glass) by washing it and then dipping it into a hot water bath. Dry the bottle. Pour the oil and juice into the spray bottle and gently shake before each use. Spritz polish onto a clean cloth until it’s slightly damp. Use the cloth to polish furniture, using circular motions, and re-spraying the cloth as needed. Use another cloth to dry the furniture, again polishing in circles. Store bottle in a cool, dark place.

Makes 3/4 cup

Night Cream
For your beauty buddy, present her with an indulgent, moisturizing night cream, perfect for the winter months.

3 Tablespoons sweet almond oil
2 Tablespoons hydrous lanolin (lanolin that has been combined with purified water)
2 Tablespoons cocoa butter
2 teaspoons rosewater
1/2 teaspoon honey
6 drops rose essential oil

If you have a double boiler, pull it out. (A glass bowl can be used in its place.) Heat a pan of water on medium-high heat. When water starts to boil, turn down the heat to medium. Place the double boiler in the water and add the sweet almond oil, hydrous lanolin, and cocoa butter. As the ingredients melt, stir with a metal spoon until completely blended.

Remove the double boiler from the heat, and let the mixture cool slightly. Add the rosewater, honey, and rose essential oil, whisk until blended, and then scoop your new moisturizer into a sterilized plastic or glass jar.

Before applying to the face, test by rubbing a bit into the wrist. If there’s no reaction other than supple skin, feel free to apply to a clean face before bed. Store in a cool place.

Makes 1/2 cup

Insect Repellent
For the outdoorsy set, how about insect repellent that doesn’t smell like a vat of chemicals?

1/4 cup witch hazel (or substitute olive oil, rubbing alcohol, or vodka)
1 Tablespoon citronella, cedarwood, tea tree, or sandalwood essential oil

Sterilize a spray bottle (glass or plastic) by dipping it in a pan of boiling water. Let dry. Add witch hazel and essential oil of your choice (any of the oils listed above are excellent mosquito repellants) to bottle and close tightly. Shake well before each use. To use, spray liberally on any exposed areas when you are outdoors.

Makes approximately 1/3 cup

Decorating your Homestead for the Holidays

• Pierce an orange full of cloves and hang this fragrant pomander in a doorway.
• Fill clear vases with Granny Smith and Red Delicious apples, or even your favorite ornaments.
• String cranberry and popcorn garlands and drape them on your trees, both inside and out (give the birds something to enjoy).
• Use a quilt as a tablecloth or tree skirt.
• Make your own ornaments with pinecones and found items.
• Hang real stockings from your mantel and fill them with oranges, nuts, hard candy, and peppermint sticks.
• Light a taper candle in each window (just keep them away from drafts and flammable items).

The gift guide for guys

If you need a bit of inspiration about what to make for the fellas in your life this holiday season, check out my latest CraftStylish post.

It even includes my grandmother's Cowboy Cookie recipe, a chocolate chip oatmeal cookie that has rendered all other cookies dead to me.

Make a photo strip garland

Perhaps my favorite post to date, my photo booth photo strip garland tutorial is up on CraftStylish and the garland is hanging in my office. As many of you know, I have a slight, uh, problem: I've never met a photo booth I didn't insist on slipping into with whoever happens to be with me. It's often on the boardwalk in Rehoboth and alcohol has usually preceded it (sorry, Richard!) but I've also gotten strips at Coney Island, El Vez (or that bar near the Electric Factory) in Philly, the Orchards Mall in Benton Harbor, the Sub Pop Music Festival this summer, Laurel's wedding a few weeks back, the Tractor Tavern (that particular strip isn't suitable for public consumption, however) and other assorted and sundry locales. I took some of my B-list strips and created a cool tree garland or window banner. Cool, eh?

If you have a thing for photo booths, there's a handy website to help you locate one near you.

Scenes from a blue-collar open house

A few photos from my mom's Christmas Even open house. Why write much when pictures say it all?

First up, a battered jar of whiskey cherries from 1990. Potent. Jim and I sampled a few vintages around 4pm. After a couple, I realized I was going to have to pace myself to make it to the end of the evening without passing out.

Then a photo of mom and me. This is what happens when you eat the whiskey cherries.

Terry brought about 10 pounds of venison stew in a Crockpot. He's on the left, my stepdad Jim is in the middle, and Toby is on the right, standing by the door to the back porch, where he planted himself for most of the evening. I visited with him every time I went to the pantry for another gin and tonic.

Then we've got the ladies: my stepaunt Pat, stepsister Denise, Legion friend Mary, stepniece Megan, and mom Judy. They are a fine-looking group of gals.

Legion post commander Pete stopped by with his daughter Crystal and her beau Nick, an aspiring writer.






"Jason, do you make Kelly walk behind you all the time?" I thought I was hilarious.

Kelly thought I was mildly amusing (check out her $9 Steve and Barrys sweatshirt! I am jealous!).

Mom and Mary are great friends. A handy seamstress (I am jealous of her too), Mary took home a nightshirt I bought at Old Navy and is going to transform it into a shirt for me.

And then there's mom and me. It was a great party, and we were a bit tired (i.e. corned) at this point. Merry Christmas to us.

Michigan, Where the beer is cold and the people are warm

Ah, finally, the holidays are here (in a good way).

After 14 hours of travel (that included a three-hour layover in Vegas that netted me $150 on video poker), I arrived in Michigan late last night, exhausted and cranky.

Today is another story. I woke up refreshed and, after taking mom to work, I drove her car, complete with “Mrs. Eck” personalized plates (my stepdad’s last name is Eckelbarger and he goes by “Eck” for short), over to St. Joe so I could hunker down at a coffee shop and work.

I did some online research at Caffe Tosi for a spell, my dad came by for a visit, and even though I have three different deadlines to hit by Friday, I was really enjoying myself. I took a break and stopped by the bookstore where I’m signing books on Saturday. I chatted at length with a woman in a local artists’ coop. I poked my head into the paint-your-own-pottery place to visit high school classmate Stephanie Hosbein (she owns the shop). She is going to try to swing by my signing and wants me to bring her some Prairie Girl Potions to check out.

I freakin' love Michigan. Folks are so nice. They take time to talk, whether they know you or not.

I went down to the beach and took some photos of the North Pier before doing some Christmas shopping and meeting up with my mom for a drink (or two) at the Legion (post 362). My brother’s photo was on the bulletin board with various well wishes (John is stationed in Kuwait). My stepdad Jim was playing poker and we sat at the bar with Kelly Robinson, another high school classmate who is active at the Legion and who set up my mom’s computer at home. (Thank you, Kelly, for bringing my mom into the 21st century.) I finally feel as if I am experiencing the holidays. I’m talking with people, drawing stories out of them (like how my stepdad proposed to my mom at the kitchen sink or how my brother rifled through his wife’s glove compartment on their first date). I even got some great stories out of the woman at the artists’ coop, who is going to try to come with her artsy teenage son (who takes tea outside every evening at his boarding school) to my talk at the library next week. Forget presents: these experiences are my real gifts. I’m totally addicted.

Ask your family a few questions about high school, likes and dislikes, how they met their spouse or significant other, childhood crushes, or what they wanted to be when they grew up. You might be surprised at the answers!

Happy holidays, wherever you may be. Stay tuned for more Michigan posts…

Jewelry and lotions and aprons, oh my!

Thanks to those gals who came out last night for Sugar & Swank's "shop local" open house. We sampled chocolates, tried on the most adorable aprons from Go2Girl, watched Jen Muscatel make over several ladies, played with Leslie's pooch Ollie, and had a great time chatting each other up.

I am obsessed with my Prairie Girl Potion Creme Brulee Body Souffle. It smells heavenly and whenever I shove a jar under someone's nose, they want to dive in and eat it. And what's not to like about slipping on a sparkly bauble or two? The nice thing about these parties is that I can tart myself up with all sorts of silver and crystal creations and in the context of a party, they all look like they go together. There's no such thing as excess at a Sugar & Swank party!

Next up is a book signing at amazing outdoor clothing store Nau this Saturday! Come out to Belleview Square, finish up your holiday shopping, and stop by for a signed copy of Backcountry Betty.

When: Saturday, December 15, 2–5pm
Where: Nau, 242 Belleview Square (second floor, by JC Penney)

The holi-daze

I've been trying to practice my prairie preaching, but it's hard. I'm trying to remain calm in the face of the holiday tumult.

It's not working.

I haven't started Christmas shopping because I've been busy selling. I had a great signing at Hilltop Yarn today, talking with folks, signing books, and making them sample my crème brulée body soufflé (which wasn't that hard, actually, since one dab on the hands made the shop smell like a bakery). It jacked me up for my events next week, which, if you're in Seattle, I hope you make. I'd love to chat with you!

This Monday (as in the day after tomorrow)!
Stacya Silverman & Associates, Queen Anne
My pal and brow guru Stacya Silverman is opening up her Queen Anne Craftsman salon for an evening of shopping in a real boutique atmosphere. In addition to my crystal baubles and Prairie Girl Potions, there will be glamorous jewelry and treats for everyone! Swing by after work and take a look. Cash or check only, please.
When: Monday, December 10, 6–9pm
Where: 16 W. Boston St.

Tuesday (the day after the day after tomorrow)!
Sugar & Swank, Mercer Island
Shop local this holiday season. Ignore the crowds and come out to the Sugar & Swank Studio. Sip champagne, peruse my Prairie Girl Potions and sparkly baubles, and shop for chocolates, linens, custom-blended mineral makeup, and much more in the company of other sassy gals. Cash or check only, please.
When: Tuesday, December 11, 6pm
Where: 3418 77th Place SE

I know there are a lot of things going on this month (there's a weird vibe in the air: people and pets are sick and/or cranky) and if you can make it to one or more events, I’d love, love, love to see you. I suspect your mood will improve.